After seeing my school today for the first time, I feel a lot more level-headed. I was reminded what’s grounding me here. It made me feel a lot more comforted. I’ve so far felt very uncomfortable here—in a way where I’m always conscious of my position, gaze, and performance—but knowing that I have a space I can always resort to feels necessary now.

There is one car of each train that is reserved for only women from 7:30 AM to 9:30 AM. It is so obvious that women are below men. I saw a man push two girls quite hard because they accidentally bumped into him when walking past him. Also, men do not offer women a seat first. “Ladies first” is not a thing here. Also, I’ve heard that men here feel more intimate with women on the trains than they do with their own wives, because it’s often so crowded that you are physically against others.