I’ve always tried to conform to my surroundings. I think that’s why I struggled to adjust here because I immediately tried and expected myself to conform to a Japanese life. I felt like a baby experiencing
everything for the first time—like feeling deja vu from a previous life. But I’m realizing how important it is to show my true myself to the Japanese. I will get looked at no matter what. They will have their assumptions of me. I initially felt like I oddly fit into society here and I tried to fully adapt—there are things I immediately changed about myself. But I suffered from that and need to unconsciously become comfortable in my own skin again.